This is a passage which almost all of us have heard. For the benefit of the deprived few here it is...
Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain PATEL welcoming both seated and standing passengers on board Air Deccan. We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off. It was due to bad weather, bad gas and partly due to the search for a missing tyre.
This is flight 420 to Mumbai. Landing there is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in India.... hopefully. And, if luck is in our favor, we may even be landing on your village!
Air Deccan has an excellent safety-record. In fact, our safety standards are so high, that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us! It is with pleasure that I announce that, starting this year, over 30% of our Passengers have reached their destination.
If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off. To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve Complimentary Daru and Vada Pav. For our religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!
We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. However, we will be flying right next to Jet Airways, and their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window. These windows have been removed for your viewing pleasure.
There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the Cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down!
In order 2 catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible. For the best view, if however, we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your seat-belt. For those of you who can't find a seat-belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat, and for those of you, who can’t find a seat, attach yourself to the toilet seat. If you are seated there, kindly do not flush, as we will not have water for your tea. If you are traveling in the cargo hold, don’t hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess who will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase.
Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain PATEL welcoming both seated and standing passengers on board Air Deccan. We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off. It was due to bad weather, bad gas and partly due to the search for a missing tyre.
This is flight 420 to Mumbai. Landing there is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in India.... hopefully. And, if luck is in our favor, we may even be landing on your village!
Air Deccan has an excellent safety-record. In fact, our safety standards are so high, that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us! It is with pleasure that I announce that, starting this year, over 30% of our Passengers have reached their destination.
If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off. To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve Complimentary Daru and Vada Pav. For our religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!
We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. However, we will be flying right next to Jet Airways, and their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window. These windows have been removed for your viewing pleasure.
There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the Cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down!
In order 2 catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible. For the best view, if however, we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your seat-belt. For those of you who can't find a seat-belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat, and for those of you, who can’t find a seat, attach yourself to the toilet seat. If you are seated there, kindly do not flush, as we will not have water for your tea. If you are traveling in the cargo hold, don’t hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess who will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase.
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Ha ha...Humour at its best!!!If I cud quote,I cud quote the whole post itself!!
ReplyDelete"In fact, our safety standards are so high, that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us!"
"For our religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!"
"For those of you who can't find a seat-belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat, and for those of you, who can’t find a seat, attach yourself to the toilet seat."
Ha ha..the best lines...I luv tis post!!